Oh The Relief! OR Always Check Your Diary Properly!!

What a difference a few hours makes, eh?

Firstly I have managed to lose 1/2lb at the weigh-in last night…not as much as I said I would but better than nothing; and I went with two friends which made the trip more enjoyable!

Secondly, and more importantly, as I hadn’t heard from my expected guests as to what time they would arrive I checked the official site for Cottages4you. What a huge wally I am!!! What I thought was a booking on my calendar on my iPhone was in fact some random thing from Facebook!!!

The relief! Then the realisation as to what exactly has been causing me most of the anguish over my trip. How stupid of me!

Of course, in my joy I stuffed my face with my whole 15 sins allowance with hi-Lite bars ( The Rocky Red, if you MUST know!), and I now have a sugar headache, but I DONT CARE!

So, I am taking a mug of tea back to bed, reading a bit more of Terry Pratchett – and how sad was the news he died yesterday: lets not get weird that I was just mentioning him…ok?

So, see you laters, dear reader!

Lx

 

Passing quickly

Another day, another blog…P1090238

This morning I woke with this heavy feeling again, but forced myself out of bed and drew back the curtains. There, in the beautiful blue sky, hung the half moon. It was only just a new moon in my mind, and I remembered that time passes, everything changes, and this heavy feeling will go too.

Last night I decided not to put the TV on ( don’t faint), and instead reached for one of my favourite authors, Terry Pratchett. My mother hated his genre as she didn’t understand it, but for me it is pure escapism with many life lessons thrown into the mix. You may have heard of his Disk Novels…I picked ‘Pyramids’ this time, but usually identify with a character called Nanny Ogg…you can do your own research on her!

LizBisson_05_MovementIs there an author or a book you go to when feeling out of sorts? When younger it always was Agatha Christie for me, giving me a warm glow that the baddie would be caught in the end either by Hercule Poirot or Miss Marple, my two guardian angels. I shall chose to think my guardian angels and others are looking over me now…in fact I’m pretty sure they are probably yelling at me to pull my socks up and get on with IT!!!

Hope your day is a glorious one.

Lx

Mild Panic

I’m having one of those weeks…you know the ones: no confidence, suddenly want to cry, no weight-loss, difficulty getting up in the morning…need I go on? No, don’t leave this page!!! It gets better, promise!

Next week I am going on my very first trip away with relative strangers and without my husband. EVER! That I can remember!

I am driving myself up to the Lake District, which I have never seen before, and joining a photography course run by Andrew Newson  who runs the “Photoclub-in-a-Pub” I go to once a month. I am staying in a B&B, Powe House, which I have never done before. I Will see an old friend afterwards, and then drive towards Liverpool and hopefully will meet our newest Grandniece, which ( yes, you’ve guessed it) I have never done before!

Now, explain to me why this 56 year old should be so nervous about doing things she knows she can do, and when it doesn’t matter what happens so long as I enjoy myself???

A little bit of me thinks this is good practice for when (God Forbid yet please) or if I am left alone…always supposing Hubby dies before me of course! He will be fine without me as he has his GOLF!!!! He is always popping off on his own, on business and golf committees etc and knows he can cope.

In reality I KNOW it will be fine; I can drive anywhere as I love driving; I’m not all that difficult to get on with (don’t say a word there!); my photograph is not bad and I’m going to learn more hopefully; if I can’t climb all the hills no-one will be cross with me!; I will love seeing my old friend again; and I can’t wait to greet the newest member of the family.

It is just occasionally, when I am on my own, I let things get me down. I am not alone in this, but I must fight it! I even talk to the house, or myself, out loud, after all I give such good advice! (OK, even I’m laughing at that one!) It is good to remember all we have achieved and survived to get where we are today; to give ourselves the pat on the back we deserve, and that hug which makes us feel we can do anything…even if we wish it was from our nearest and dearest.

SO! I will start packing away my gear and clothes, send emails to the relevant folks, buy ‘thank you’ presents for my two hosts, check the tire pressure, windscreen washing fluid, and put all my audiobooks onto a sim card ( or whatever they are called) so I can really enjoy the drives, and off I will go!

Wish me luck.

New Moon, New Beginnings

Happy Year of the Goat to you all!

I hope this new Chinese year is beginning well for you? I have decided to start with a few changes –

1. Change the kitchen doors

2. Change my Habits

3…..nope, that’s it for now! That’s quite enough to be going on with, I think. After all I seem to be propping up the economy single handed according to Hubby!

As I type a very nice chap is measuring up all the kitchen doors and draw fronts to change from our Ikea white to his “Oakgrain Muscle” …at least that’s what Hubby and I decided on last weekend…oh dear, how easy it is to change and waver as the light in the room changes, and the chap says something… I’ll put a picture in and you can see what I mean. Hubby says the best thing is to get an interior designer friend in to give us her advice on the colours, but I’m not changing the tiles nor the work surfaces, and the sample door fitted in colour-wise and style-wise…we are going to change to shaker-style doors…oh help, as I type I can feel myself wavering…but NO!!! I WILL STICK WITH WHAT I DECIDED!!! The new colour will match the dishwasher incase you are wondering…or at least be nearer to it.DSCF0390

On the personal front I am off to Slimming World tonight to enrol in the next bid to free my body from all this weight and flab! ( yes, I know that the flab will only go with exercise, thank  you very much!) I am in the grip of the Sugar Monster at the moment and partaking of the “new smoking” i.e. sitting down too much…Its all a vicious circle! However onwards with the next attempt!!

Meanwhile, the weather is changing again from the lovely Spring weather back to the Winter wind and rain. I must get more wood in…

Lx

 

Grateful but…

DSCF0388Today I went to Morfield Hospital for an eye test…my optician said there were parts of my eyes not getting enough light etc and he wanted to be sure it was all ok…there were hints of a cataract in one…you know the “chat”. Well, I’m over 55, and have terrible short sight.  As you can imagine all sorts went through my head, not the least was the thought “Oooo, I wonder if they will give me new internal lenses?”

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Luckily the hospital is not far form our flat so I zoomed up and, of course, took my camera with me and wandered round Old Street area beforehand; I always like to get to an appointment early for those “just incase” moments!

It was such a glorious afternoon even the tower blocks were looking attractive! Thoughts were entering my head about lack of sight, loss of sight…you know the feeling I am sure!DSCF0378The GREAT news is I don’t have glaucoma and only the vaguest hint of a cataract in one eye. There is some strangeness about the optic nerves in one but as I have such bad shortsightedness ( -8 and -8.5!) and stigmatism…I bet you are imagining all sorts now!… it was all to be expected. I will be checked again in 8 months time just to make sure its not getting worse, and its not expected to be. ALL GOOD!

But ( you knew that was coming!) there was that little bit of disappointment that I wasn’t going to get new lenses. Especially as now you can have fab refractive ones meaning no glasses at all, either for reading or driving! Ah well. Now’s a good time to practice thankfulness (and tell Hubby we still have to pay for contact lenses), to remember how lucky I am to be able to take photographs, and to enjoy all Nature’s glorious colours.

L x

Fingers Crossed!

article-2087332-0F7D56A800000578-448_964x640Brrrr – I know its Winter, but it still seems rather colder than usual. Maybe we have just been spoilt by last year’s wonderful heat.

I have my fingers crossed this morning, as last night the Cottage boiler decided to play up, not providing hot water for my guests. Mind you, they had the heating up as far as it would go, so perhaps The Boiler had decided to go slow! This has happened once before and the next morning it seemed to work fine…would it be wrong to pray for this to happen again?

I will wait until I see signs of life and then go and ask…or should I wait for them to come to me? Oh, the decisions…This is the one side of being a holiday cottage owner that I hate!

I suspect I will have to cancel going to art this morning…

UPDATE – The Boiler is dead!

The wonderfully understanding couple in the cottage have said they will soldier on with heaters, and boiling the kettle for hot water…they even said it wasn’t my fault, which made me feel much better.

So, I am waiting for my Heating Engineer to come back with a quote for a new outside boiler, and a shed to put it in, plus labour etc… wonder if my Hubby can lend me the odd £1000… “Darling…” ( smiles sweetly, puts his favourite meal in the oven, James Bond on the TV…) GULP!

I wonder if it is easier for folks on their own, who are their own bosses so to speak, to cope with this type of thing? Probably not. Counting my blessings here as fast as possible!

L x

Can I Take Your Picture Please?

I have just completed the most difficult of our PhotoClub assignments ever… We had to take portraits of strangers, talk to them, get their permission and find out something about them.

No problem, I thought! I’m the type who will talk to anyone, anywhere, about anything. My chidden used to tell me off for doing it; my husband finds it very amusing/embarrassing. I’ll manage to do this one standing on my head!

Oh how the mighty fell!

There is something so very personal about taking a portrait of someone, let alone a stranger. The old adage of taking a piece of their soul seemed to spring to my mind. Let alone posing as a photography student! Which I am. Honestly. I even had cards made to prove it, and give them a link to here… I gave 1 away!

After spending most of the month getting over this ridiculous chest lurgy I eventually managed a day in London and headed up to Borough Market to see who I could find. My nerves got the better of me and I kept forgetting to ask the subject’s name, or tell them mine, and certainly forgot to give them my card!

Eventually though, despite getting to grips with my fab new camera, I managed to meet some wonderful folks who let me snap them…

"John & James"
“John & James”

These two great chaps were already laughing over their morning coffees when they agreed to let me snap them. I was so grateful I forgot to ask their names…

Haley
Haley meanwhile was showing her friend Roxanne round London. 

These are just a couple of my favourite ones…tomorrow night I will get to find out what our teacher thinks…

Lx

New Year New Me?

Is it too late to wish you Happy New Year? I hope not, as this was the week my new year was going to start…as it is I’m just getting govern this dreaded lurgy that is going around for the second time…so I may say  my new year will start next week!

Anyway, did you have a good festive time? I would have if most of it had not been in bed, but it didn’t stop the Men dragging me off on a plane to ski! I managed two mornings of brief skiing before the body reacted and told me not to be a bloody idiot. It was lovely to have our Son guiding and teaching me and I felt so safe in his hands. I even managed to get down a ridiculously icy slope that otherwise I would have scaled on my bum ( I’m not a proud skier!)

Then New Year’s Eve I told Hubby that that was my lot. I wasn’t fit to ski any more and was just going to walk the rest of the holiday. He accepted that without making me feel guilty about the cost of the ski pass or anything, which was fab!

New Year’s Day saw a strange change in me.

Since the funeral of a school friend in the Summer I had been experiencing a lot of anger and almost complete loss of faith ( well, who was I angry at if not God?). AS I walked through the beautiful, peaceful snowy landscape I thought of my friend. She seems dot be walking with me as she loved the Alps, and I felt this complete warmth fill me. And it was complete – since then I have felt so much more at ease with myself, my men, my life. I have looked after myself as this lurgy came back. I haven’t felt guilt about staying in bed, eating chocolate when I want it, not doing any of the things I thought I would…helped in this by my Fabulous cleaner who I regard as a friend and my hero! I even allowed our golf guests to look after themselves rather than rushing round like a mother hen and taxi service.

Is this a new me? I hope so. I feel very grateful to my old friend for visiting me, and helping me. She was such an amazing woman when alive, and she is obviously using her wings to still help others.

So, when I am 100% better I am hoping to continue this complete, warm new life…just to warn you! With my new camera which Father Xmas gave me I shall be showing you all why afab world I ( and you ) live in…I even have cards to give out to those who help me in my pictures – subjects who allow me to capture them etc.

I have also decided to put more things in the holiday cottage – dressing gowns, shower caps and spare toothbrush sets. All from staying in the fab self-catering apartment we used this time. Those were the things we had/ didn’t have that struck me. Hope they make  difference for my guests.

Right, I’m off to take another antibiotic and continue my recovery.

L xIMG_0051

 

‘Twas the Night before Christmas

…and all through the house…

rampaged a panicking woman who realised that it was all too late!

Too late to turn her lard body into the lean fit skiing machine her husband had achieved…

Too late to fit into the ski clothes that fitted two years ago when the personal trainer had worked so hard on her…

Too late to sensibly say to her friend that she couldn’t go with her straight after the skiing trip….

Slowly the woman calmed down, made a list of what she had to do, realised she could do the important things, including supporting her friend, and still fulfil everyone’s expectations. it was all a matter of timing and prioritising.

Nothing could be done about the lack of fitness, but she knew what to do on the slopes, her son was a qualified instructor, and she could always do something else on the slopes ( like have a hot chocolate whilst taking pictures). She had plenty of time to try on the ski clothes, pack those that could be worn, substitute those that couldn’t and pack, pack a small suitcase for the couple of days with her friend afterwards, and most of the house was ready fro the guests arriving the day after that.

So what was the point in panicking? It was 5 am and that is the worst time for this sort of thing! She breathed, went downstairs to be greeted by her loving pets, fed and watered them, and then came back to bed with a mug of tea and wrote her blog…

SO, Dear Reader, I am wishing you a wonderful, Peaceful Christmas. Life is never as bad as I think when I sit and really think about it, and i hope you realise this too.

May your God bless you and keep you safe.

L x

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Is THAT What You Think?

This weekend gave Hubby and me a huge example of how differently we view things, and how differently we think, whilst assuming we are on the same wave length…WARNING – I may not come out of this looking good!

Hubby has been asked to take on something in 2016, outside work which will last 2 years and take up quite a few weekends and parts of his holiday too. It is something that we have talked about in the distant and relatively recent past, and as always I am behind Hubby 100%, dutiful wife etc. He works hard and deserves to enjoy his ‘down time’.

The problem for me is that we don’t see much of each other at the mo with his present extra-curricular activities, as he has to use quite a lot of his holiday time to take part in two things other than work…oh dear, I can see I really am beginning to look bad here…

My reaction was “oh no, not yet, please” silently, to myself, as a wave of sadness hit when I realised Hubby had already said yes to this new thing. I’m not too sure I hid my feelings as well as I wanted to during the dinner, but wine was drunk, laughter and fun was had, and a good night’s sleep ensued.

Once the guests had departed on Sunday morning we had a chance to chat…but I started it. I just quietly said that whilst I was really pleased and proud of this opportunity for Hubby,  I would have liked to have been consulted first, as a courtesy; the way it had occurred made me feel as if my feelings were not important to Hubby. This is how I felt. He was shocked, and said he didn’t mean me to feel this at all – it was just that he knew I was ok with it, and if he didn’t say yes this time he may not get asked again.

The sadness and lonely feeling lifted, only the odd tear fell from me, and harmony resumed in The Bisson household. ( sounds of cheering in the background should accompany this reading.)

Now, Dear Reader, I wonder if the way you react to this blog will be tinged by your gender? Or am I just a spoilt brat? I don’t think I am – well, not in this instance! I feel being consulted on something that impinges on my relationship with Hubby is important – It is a sign of not being taken for granted.

It does work both ways, and I have always included Hubby in the decisions I have taken about occupations and hobbies that have taken me away from the family. To feel as important in a relationship as the other person is, I think, one of the ingredients required for a long and happy marriage…which so far we are achieving. Long may this continue. (fingers are being crossed as I type)

The point of this blog? Please make sure your significant other half feels they are included in decisions.

On that note, I’m off to have The Little Miracle checked and hopefully turn dup a bit! Have a fab day wherever you are.

L x

I am…

 

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Morning. I am starting the day with a little more force than usual.

I have fed the pets, everyone has been out and all have safely come in, and here I am chatting to you.

Why? I got woken at 4.20 this morning by a hot flush. Not unusual as I had had some Cadbury’s chocolate yesterday, and sugar is my trigger. So, I listened to an Audio Book whilst dozing until Midweek Motivation by Jayne M Cox came into my inbox as it does every Wednesday. here’s the link…http://us2.campaign-archive2.com/?u=2616f02d31b1e827414add1cb&id=417b5d6fd2&e=4227bc274b

This one is a Ted talk about Faking It Until It’s Real…something I do often on Twitter – now, stop yelling at me! I tweet happiness and positivity because who wants to read about a moping, sado?! I don’t consider it lying unless its lying to myself, and it makes me feel better, it really does! I Fake It!

So, when everyone started to wake up on Twitter etc I put on the light, my dressing gown, and came down here, and I have done my power stance…outside! Looking up at the stars, swilling my coconut oil in my mouth, loving the odd twinkling star, and amazed I can do that in November…but I am digressing!

Today I am going to fake being an organised, energetic, lively, thin person…those who know me will know at least one of those is not real. And I can hear Jayne already yelling at me! I CAN be those things, but I find it easy to slip into the mindset of the fat, lazy, detached, TV slob. Just being honest here – you can switch off anytime if you are bored

I USED to be the former, when I was younger, a working mum, and even after we moved to the country and I gave up work to look after the kids ( something I never regret!). I can be those things again, I just need the motivation – and I don’t think I’m alone here! It’s only going to come from me!

I even started to fill out the forms for these 2 wonder pills that make you lose stones in a month…mainly for skiing after Christmas…as they say you don’t lose energy etc. I will ask my nutritionist first ( a 24 year old beauty!) who will talk me out of it, at least I’m assuming she will…

Anyway, back to the Fake it to Make it thought…It has hit me at just the right time. My mind feels as if it is disintegrating, I forget words very easily, and listening to others at Art yesterday I realised I am wasting my life at the moment. One of the ladies, who was a high-powered school teacher, is taking an Open university course in the History of Art. What am I doing? Nothing!

SO…from today I am going to fake being an interesting, intelligent, engaged, organised, self-disciplined, woman who knows her own mind. It won’t hurt to drink a lot more water and eat less sugar which is half the problem right there! I used to be all these things, and as I am not about to pop my clogs any time soon, I WILL be again!

Another thought just comes to me as I get ready to sign off…talking to Hubby recently I said how I hate to be judged (my holiday cottage had its inspection on Monday – 4 stars again!) – I think I know who is my biggest Judge…me.

Go be fabulous, folks! You know you can!

Lx

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Pump Up The Volume…please

Yes, I am asking for the volume to be turned up …on the Little Miracle!

I have, I think, got used to using my LM, and now there are situations where I really would like more volume. Certainly not in the cinema earlier this week whilst watching Interstellar…a fab film, btw! I came away wanting to go into space asap…never going to happen sadly! However there have been a couple of days when either in a restaurant or listening to the car radio when i could have done with more volume.

This hearing aid is not the type you can fiddle with – it is set up by a computer by the expert, and when it was first set up he did say most people come back asking for more.

The other morning, sitting in the kitchen over a cuppa and the computer I became aware of the ticking of the clock…something I have been missing but didn’t realise. It is such a peaceful sound, I just stopped to listen for a while.

All of this makes me think of my mother, who was deaf from the age of 8 following hooping cough. What she had gone through – the frustration, missing the little things…it just makes me admire her; and perhaps gives me a little more understanding of what drove her. I am a little sad that I can’t share this experience with her.

SO, in a couple of weeks, I go back to The Expert and I will be asking for more volume!

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