It seems a long time since I posted anything about my yoga. In fact it’s a long time since I managed a practice at home! I have no idea why, but I have found a fab teacher in Andrea at The Yoga School on The Ridge at Hastings. www.theyogaschool.co.uk
This morning I really needed my Yoga. if you have read my previous post you will know some very deep emotions have been brought to the surface following some dreadful news. The news has brought up feelings of grief from somewhere deep inside, that I thought had subsided.
After a wonderful practice where we ends dup with our legs posed weightless in the air we prepared for Shavasana, and I brought my legs down with the soles of my feet together and my knees falling apart. I think this is a pose which helps release emotions, and is one that is almost a default for me. Andrea asked me if I would like to rest in this position for Shavasana instead of my usual one with a wedge under my legs, as I looked so settled. She put a bolster either side of me under my knees to make sure there was not too much of a stretch getting in the way of my mind, warm pads on my palms, on my stomach and over my feet, a pillow under my head, and a blanket over me. We settled into the pose.
At first I found it difficult to let go, but then, as my breathing slowed and deepened, I suddenly felt this huge weight lift off my chest, almost pulling me up; there was this bright light coming towards me, and in the centre was an eye shape. All sadness seemed to go, and I felt happy. I think I was smiling.
Then I coughed and normality resumed…well, almost. The sadness I had brought with me no longer seemed trapped inside. After the class Andrea spoke to me and suddenly I was crying, telling her about my friend, about my daughter, my family! We talked for an hour, and shared our griefs. She told me off when I tried to apologise for holding her back, bless her.
Now, although I am still sad ( not strong enough a word) about my friend, I feel I have been given permission to acknowledge that I have feelings of grief about her; that it has brought up feelings of grief about my daughter; that I am different from others who don’t have these griefs. I will not bottle them up any more.
Bit of a shame it’s called The Corpse pose tho!!