Holiday of a lifetime?

What is your favourite holiday? I thought mine was just lazing by a pool reading my book, but the one I’ve just had has changed my mind!

Hubby said it was up to me where we went this year as I was insisting he took the full 2weeks off in one go for a change! He works so hard, and in the last few years has only had a week at a time off, and then not so relaxing as it could have been! So I took a huge leap of faith and booked us into a water sports club in Greece! Yes, me! I don’t do water sports these days, being a large middle aged lass, but Son had been there with his ex-girlfriend’s family and had a fab time, so…

We went! Oh Greece! Now I understand what my friends have been raving about! Not that we saw that much…we flew to Kephalonia and picked up the most beaten-up jeep around, quickly nicknamed Noddy, and drove to Paradise! Yes, it really was that good!

20120630-075904.jpg

During the next week we had great fun watching Son and Friend learn to sail, windsurf, kayak, and generally drink their way through the evenings…not always with alcohol! W also had fun too! Hubby and I learned to sail Picos….little dinghies you start in…such fun! The sense of freedom was unbelievable! The sound of the boat gently moving through the water, then catching the wind in the sail and swiftly overtaking Hubby…yep, I became mildly competitive in that boat!

20120630-080443.jpg

The most amazing thing I discovered is how doing something new and mildly scary(well, for me!) boosted my self confidence, and helped recharge the batteries even more than relaxing with a book…there was lots of that too, believe me; And swimming in the sea after a boiling 34deg C sunbathe is just wonderful!! We came home feeling that it had been the best holiday we have had in a long, long time!

Of course, now I’m in bed with a chest infection and feeling awful, but sorting through the pictures for this blog just takes me straight back to Greece and the inner glow grows!

So, if you are thinking of what to do for the Summer Holidays, why not try something different? You never know, you might find a new sport to love! I will be off to my local sailing club once I feel better, and despite the difference in water temp here, building on my Pico experiences and learning to sail properly!

Woohoo!

20120630-081436.jpg

Revelation!

Wow! I have just had one of those moments of insight…not sure I have many about my past but this one has just occurred whilst watching Bones. Go figure! Not too sure what triggered it and when I describe it I can imagine some of you will go ” well, duh!”

After university and before getting into advertising (stop booing!) I worked at Liberty in London and rented a room in Putney. I felt a bit of an interloper in this lovely family’s home. They tried to integrate me but somehow I didn’t feel I could. They were friends of friends, and had small children who I occasionally baby sat. I just didn’t know how to live in another family! It was my first experience of work after school and Uni -I think I might have been the longest serving part timer the shop had – and although I loved working in the shop I don’t think I fitted in too well.

Because I was learning to live in the outside world and didn’t want to disturb the family too much I used to tiptoe around them, coming in late and leaving really early. I didn’t eat much…I discovered Sandwich Spread and lived off that and bread for about a month or two … On the plus side I managed to get down to a size 10 for the first time ever, but as I also had spots it didn’t really work in my favour! Goodness knows what I looked like!

My revelation moment this morning was an image popped into my head of going home one night after work and just not being able to stop the tears falling. I turned my face to the window, standing by the door in the corner of a carriage, and just cried and cried. I now realise I was very depressed. I was alone, and felt I didn’t belong anywhere. The family eventually asked me to leave as they didn’t like my odd hours…don’t ask me where I was, I don’t know! Pubs probably, trying to fit in with my fellow workers!

So I took a break from work, and moved back home. I am hazy about what happened then, but I know gardening for my mum would have been involved! Weeding was my way of working things out. In fact there are a quite a few things I seem to have wiped from my memory! A survival tactic maybe!

From this revelation comes the falling into place of the “baby blues” as my mum called it after both babies were born; we never discussed the word depression… My mother was of the generation which did not recognise it and just told me to pull myself together and work through it all. She also never had a menopause, but believe me she did!!

Now, all of this may have been really obvious to others around me, but not in this head! Life moved on, I moved into a house with some younger friends met at work, got into advertising, eventually met future hubby at a party, and the rest is history!!

Even with the soul-searching and counselling I have had since the death of my mother this picture of crying in the tube never surfaced. It is only now, when we are about to go on holiday and things are changing for son and Hubby in the next few months, has this popped into my head.
That and the thought I must take charge of my life too otherwise I will be left behind…and I hate to miss out! I was thinking I must get used to doing things on my own more, like going away, perhaps to do an art course in Florence, as Hubby will be taking the Rules Exams for golf next Spring and will therefore be off at golf competitions; son has left Uni and hopefully will be getting a job and leaving home.

Ok, I can hear you all yelling Empty Nest Syndrome…but as son has been at boarding school and hubby lives away during the week, it is not a new thing for me!

Anyway, the main thing for me is that I have had this revelation, and I suddenly feel a bit lighter, cleaner, stronger… Now I have to decide what to do with this new self knowledge!

Thanks for reading.

20120609-083714.jpg