Am I alone in finding it so easy to let life wash over you, pass you by, to get lost in the feeling that there is so much you should’ve doing that it is almost impossible to start?
Yes?? Just me then? Bugger!
Well, that is how I have been feeling! Last week I had a huge scare when the after effects of a visual migraine were the same as a mini stroke! I was sent into hospital by my doctor for a general MOT with ECG, Chest X-ray and MRI to make sure all was ok…and it is, thankfully. I think it gave my family a bit of a fright too. We were all expecting me to get. A huge rollicking from the doctors about my huge weight problem, but as they seem to be on the generously proportioned sizes themselves, and as it wasn’t a stroke, I got away with it!
Since then you would have thought I would have been a new person, turning over the new leaf of healthy living, moving more etc, etc…yes, I can hear you all saying ” of course! Take it as a warning”. I know I should!
However it has been very difficult to get going again! The tingling is still there in my arm, and the occasional feeling I am about to faint with breathlessness with the arrhythmia, has led to my usual place at the kitchen table. The sense of the depression creeping up behind me is there, and I am aware I must send it packing!
I have booked the personal trainer tho! He arrives on Thursday morning for our first session of actually doing something! I have bought a couple of Nike purple tops with that wonderful wick-away technology to keep me cool, and hopefully they are big enough to let me move.
Which brings up the next load of feelings… We are off to see the family at the weekend, and of course, they are all petite, groomed, and somehow manage to make me feel inferior and untidy! They would hate to think they made me feel like that – they are a great bunch, so it is all in my head!! I can hear a couple of my regular readers yelling at their screen around now, but this is how I feel!!
So, in a few minutes I will go to my mirror and give myself a good talking to! (Probably in my mother’s voice if I’m not careful! I may be haunted; send in the exorcists! ) I know I need to point out to me what I have achieved in my life, how many folks think I’m great, and what I still can achieve when I put my mind to it!
I channel so much energy into seeming to be funny and happy… If I channel that into achieving what I want to, then I can strike out the word seeming from the first half of that sentence!
So with that in mind, dear reader, I am off to my mirror, then to make a To Do list, and then to DO IT!!