The Power of Shavasana (The Corpse Pose)

It seems a long time since I posted anything about my yoga. In fact it’s a long time since I managed a practice at home! I have no idea why, but I have found a fab teacher in Andrea at The Yoga School on The Ridge at Hastings. www.theyogaschool.co.uk

This morning I really needed my Yoga. if you have read my previous post you will know some very deep emotions have been brought to the surface following some dreadful news. The news has brought up feelings of grief from somewhere deep inside, that I thought had subsided.

After a wonderful practice where we ends dup with our legs posed weightless in the air we prepared for Shavasana, and I brought my legs down with the soles of my feet together and my knees falling apart. I think this is a pose which helps release emotions, and is one that is almost a default for me. Andrea asked me if I would like to rest in this position for Shavasana instead of my usual one with a wedge under my legs, as I looked so settled. She put a bolster either side of me under my knees to make sure there was not too much of a stretch getting in the way of my mind, warm pads on my palms, on my stomach and over my feet, a pillow under my head, and a blanket over me. We settled into the pose.

At first I found it difficult to let go, but then, as my breathing slowed and deepened, I suddenly felt this huge weight lift off my chest, almost pulling me up; there was this bright light coming towards me, and in the centre was an eye shape. All sadness seemed to go, and I felt happy. I think I was smiling.

Then I coughed and normality resumed…well, almost. The sadness I had brought with me no longer seemed trapped inside. After the class Andrea spoke to me and suddenly I was crying, telling her about my friend, about my daughter, my family! We talked for an hour, and shared our griefs. She told me off when I tried to apologise for holding her back, bless her.

Now, although I am still sad ( not strong enough a word) about my friend, I feel I have been given permission to acknowledge that I have feelings of grief about her; that it has brought up feelings of grief about my daughter; that I am different from others who don’t have these griefs. I will not bottle them up any more.

Bit of a shame it’s called The Corpse pose tho!!

Lx

 

‘Bye…

hugging_kittensSometimes the World serves up a mug of pain instead of a glass of champagne.

A couple of days ago I had a call from an old school friend who I haven’t seen in a while, but always reconnect with instantly – we went through quite a lot at boarding school, forming a trio with another friend of “Only Children”. If you are not an Only Child it can be difficult to understand, in the same we we don’t get your relationship with your siblings! (I used to dream of having an older brother who would look after me..yes, I realise he probably wouldn’t have now, but in my dream he would introduce me to all his very handsome friends!…well, I used to day-dream a lot!! )

I thought this call was just a catch-up, and in a way it was. My wonderfully strong friend had called me personally to tell me she has only a couple of months left to live.

She has survived a bad session of breast cancer which went to her lymph nodes over a decade ago, has brought up 3 wonderful children, worked for breast-feeding charities, is a very strong member of her church, and now has been struck by primary pancreatic cancer which has spread to the liver. She sounded so strong and matter-of-fact on the phone. She brought me up to speed, and we reminised about our lives, school, children, husbands.

An hour or so later, shell-shocked, and trying not to cry on the phone for her, we thanked each other for being friends, and I said “ok, bye”….and we hung up! And I immediately realised what I had said!!!! I cried, I walked round the house ( I was alone as both men were in London as per), then called our third friend, who was out. I left a message for my husband on his mobile as he never answers it in the evening, grabbed my camera and took the dog down the farm track to watch the sunset.

Going through my mind was how casual my “Bye” had been to her. I will always be grateful to her for having the courage to call me herself, and then I just casually finished the call! Now, I know I can call her back and tell her all ┬áthis, but would it help her? I will call her anyway, and we “chat” on Facebook and Twitter, but that moment has passed!

I wonder if I will have the chance to hug her again and say goodbye properly, but if I don’t I know she understands how important she is in my life.

SO, to those of you who don’t even say Goodbye when you hang up the phone ( something that REALLY gets my goat!), think on. It only takes a second.

 

And to my wonderful friend I will not say Goodbye yet, as I know we shall meet again either in this World, or the next. I love you.

Lx

 

Go With The Flow

Good ┬ámorning, is your day planned? Do you know what you have got to do today, what you can achieve? I had a great day planned…Art in the morning as it’s Tuesday, and gardening this afternoon…well, IN the garden anyway. ( for that read sunbathing!)

Last night I looked at my Angel cards and one of them was Flow…now I know why! My wonderful Tech guy has decided to come to sort out my broadband problems today instead of tomorrow, bless him. Unluckily for him he has had a puncture, but is still coming here from Ipswich, which is at least 100 miles away. I know, I know, there are peeps nearer who could sort it out, but this guy I trust, and we normally can fix things remotely. This time I need hardwear ( not to mention a few little knickknacks for my new baby!!) to ensure that my home network works, and we can offer free Wifi in my holiday cottage as advertised. Whilst he is fixing problems I’ll get him to give me a quick lesson on Baby for anything I am not sure about/don’t know…tricks of the trade stuff.

SO, I will go with the flow, change my plans without getting cross about it. I will be missing the chance to defeat a terrible drawing I was stuck on in art ( it’s the last lesson of the term) for the first time, but hey – I have learned a great deal in the process, which is what it’s all about. I will be able to help my cleaner cope with all the dust and mess in the drawing room where we’ve just had new windows put in.(..I have done quite a lot already in my defence!!) A problem will be sorted which is always great.

So as my Manga ( grandma) always said “Count your blessings” and I will…it could take me all day!

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