This weekend gave Hubby and me a huge example of how differently we view things, and how differently we think, whilst assuming we are on the same wave length…WARNING – I may not come out of this looking good!
Hubby has been asked to take on something in 2016, outside work which will last 2 years and take up quite a few weekends and parts of his holiday too. It is something that we have talked about in the distant and relatively recent past, and as always I am behind Hubby 100%, dutiful wife etc. He works hard and deserves to enjoy his ‘down time’.
The problem for me is that we don’t see much of each other at the mo with his present extra-curricular activities, as he has to use quite a lot of his holiday time to take part in two things other than work…oh dear, I can see I really am beginning to look bad here…
My reaction was “oh no, not yet, please” silently, to myself, as a wave of sadness hit when I realised Hubby had already said yes to this new thing. I’m not too sure I hid my feelings as well as I wanted to during the dinner, but wine was drunk, laughter and fun was had, and a good night’s sleep ensued.
Once the guests had departed on Sunday morning we had a chance to chat…but I started it. I just quietly said that whilst I was really pleased and proud of this opportunity for Hubby, I would have liked to have been consulted first, as a courtesy; the way it had occurred made me feel as if my feelings were not important to Hubby. This is how I felt. He was shocked, and said he didn’t mean me to feel this at all – it was just that he knew I was ok with it, and if he didn’t say yes this time he may not get asked again.
The sadness and lonely feeling lifted, only the odd tear fell from me, and harmony resumed in The Bisson household. ( sounds of cheering in the background should accompany this reading.)
Now, Dear Reader, I wonder if the way you react to this blog will be tinged by your gender? Or am I just a spoilt brat? I don’t think I am – well, not in this instance! I feel being consulted on something that impinges on my relationship with Hubby is important – It is a sign of not being taken for granted.
It does work both ways, and I have always included Hubby in the decisions I have taken about occupations and hobbies that have taken me away from the family. To feel as important in a relationship as the other person is, I think, one of the ingredients required for a long and happy marriage…which so far we are achieving. Long may this continue. (fingers are being crossed as I type)
The point of this blog? Please make sure your significant other half feels they are included in decisions.
On that note, I’m off to have The Little Miracle checked and hopefully turn dup a bit! Have a fab day wherever you are.