It’s OK to be Down

Ever felt that we are bombarded by posts telling us that we must Be Positive. Think Positive Thoughts etc? I am actually one of those who repost those wonderful sayings and pictures, but I am also on elf those who gets really down too – my mother called them the Black Dog days…I think Winston Churchill called them that too, and I can see why.

Saturday morning was a beautiful morning here and promised to be a great day. I had arranged to meet a girlfriend for lunch, Hubby is away so no large laundry pile to be done by Sunday night. The day was mine to do as I pleased with…but I didn’t want to get out of bed! My stomach had the pitch black heavy feeling that I hate, and the thoughts of death floated upwards…not of suicide I quickly add, but of the peace of not being.

These feelings pass. I got up, got the papers, did some shopping, and went to lunch with my friend.

And so the feeling passed. It always does. I just have to remember that!

I think it’s ok to admit to these days, to show I am human, and certainly have never been perfect, despite being blessed with so much in my life. I don’t think I am abnormal, or strange…I am sure everyone gets these days, but perhaps they don’t broadcast them. I’m just saying to you, Dear Reader, that I think it’s ok to admit to them.

 

That’s all, back to normal sunny disposition, as I roast a leg of lamb for another friend.

Hugs to those who need them.

L xhugging_kittens

Statins V Diet

9.3!!!! My cholesterol is 9.3????

We have a family history of high cholesterol, but this is way too high, so of course I gave in and let the nurse put me on statins. All went well for the first 3 weeks…

Then I thought I would boost the results by trying Benecol as well…its all good stuff, right? WRONG!!!!! Oh boy…I won’t go into details, but suffice to say I have been thoroughly cleaned out and my insides are very, very sore!!! I called the Doc for some advice …

“Ride it out”

Thanks! Is that it? “Apart from stopping the pills until all is clear, yes”! HA!

So here I am, almost a week later, feeling rather weak, a little pathetic and sore inside, and half a stone if not more lighter ( that’s the plus side!). I even had a day in bed yesterday to catch up on sleep and try to flush it out as much as possible, only eating rice, soup and a baked potato … this has slowed things down (thankfully!) but I must get on! Hubby is off to Japan at the end of the week and I’d like to spend some time with him before he goes! This is more tricky than it sounds as he lives in London during the week; and when you are feeling like you’ve been scoured by drain cleaner travelling can be tricky!

When all of this dies down I will try the pills again, and try to moderate my diet even more…but I know what I really need to do …MOVE MORE!!!!

In all honesty, I’ve stopped doing most things…yoga has drifted off, even walking has got down to a minimum, so it is no wonder my stats are bad.

I’m not going to make any wonderful promises of running a marathon next year, or climbing a mountain or anything like that. I will just say I am going to do little and often, more and more, until I feel I can really move properly.

I have been doing Slimming World since Feb but not really “done” it, so I must do that too.

Then we will see what the blood tests say nearer Christmas…which is not that far away… oh help! Now I’m wondering what on earth I can get my Old Man as a present????? EEEEKKK!!!!!

Lx