Am I Cured Now?

For those who are regular readers, and who know I have been “in therapy”, here is an update…

If you are a new reader, have a flip through the last few posts and you will find that I have had at least a year of depression, that resulted in my seeking help from a therapist. She was brilliant for what I needed at the time ( that sounds very bad English!), and helped me to climb out of the “Slough of Despond” that I had fallen into.

So here I am now, having passed the two rotten anniversaries of my Father’s 20th and Daughter’s 13th deaths. Both days were sunny and filled with love rather than sadness. Always a good alternative!

What changed? Well, obviously the therapy, which had me acknowledging the type of relationship I had with my parents, acknowledging what a tragedy we have suffered, and trying to discover Me. However it seemed we were wallowing in the past, and I am normally very much a Face Forward person. I prefer to think about the future rather than reliving the past. I am sure those of you who understand how therapy works would say you have to study the past to understand the present, and I think I do.

In trying to find my path forward I have also gone to both Homeopathy, which seemed to help lift my mood ( and was told I was at a crossroad in Life), and then had to go to traditional medicine as I was suffering chest pains and tightness…never a good combination! A few weeks into taking statins, blood pressure pills ( it was 185/? after trying to park at the hospital!!), and stomach pills I have to admit physically I am feeling better…emotionally too!!

Yes folks, Life is looking better!! WOOHOO! There is still much to do…I am obese, I have lower back ache, probably from sitting on my vast bottom too much, and I still get out of breath ( poor lungs have so little space amongst the fat). BUT my knees aren’t hurting (fingers crossed) and my ankles don’t lock so much nor are so swollen. The dog still looks at me longingly for walks…we are going as soon as this is posted. I am facing a skiing holiday in February with sinking heart but I will have a go…so long as I can get into my ski-stuff!

Otherwise, I am back doing my drawing, photography courses, and beginning yet another clear-out of clutter (it’ll never end!). We are moving Forward. Am I cured yet? No – not sure I ever will be, is anyone? BUT I am going in the right direction!!!

Coming with me?

Lx

I’m Proud Of You

Have you heard this much in your life? I haven’t to be honest. It wasn’t something my parents said…it could have been a generation thing, or just not something that entered my mother’s head…it could be that I just don’t remember.

It is something I say to my son quite a lot. I AM proud of all that he is achieving, and has achieved. Not the least being to live a regular life having lost his sister when he was 13. Hopefully no-one would look at him and say there goes someone in grief…something I hope for all 3 of us, to be honest! He hasn’t become addicted to drugs, become a mass murderer, or anything…as far as I know!

Today he begins a new job, leaving shift work behind and starting a Monday-to-Friday lifestyle, which hopefully will be good for his soul.

Telling our children we are proud of them surely can’t be wrong? When my two were young it seemed all American children were encouraged and praised for any little thing, and we British parents were rather reticent about it. I certainly have changed…I wonder if everyone has too? Or was it just in my family that praise was scarce?

So, incase you have no-one around to say it to you…I am proud of You!      ( I’m proud of me too)

Go be awesome.

Lx