I’ll Be Good…I Promise!

Calling all mums…have you an only child? Is it a boy? Then you will understand, hopefully, and the rest will just lecture I am sure.

If you have read any of my blogs you will know I have a great Son, aged 27, and I am proud of him for loads of reasons, not just that he has survived the loss of his sister when he was 13 and in the first term of his boarding school without going off any rails.

I love hearing about what he is getting up to in London, at work etc…and he occasionally phones to let me know. As he shares a flat with his father but rarely sees him due to work/social commitments on both sides it’s great to catch up. Nothing wrong with that surely?

(At this moment I have my Hubby’s voice and a few friends’ voices too, yelling “It’s none of your business” . Let me say right off I KNOW!!!!!! but I can’t believe I am the only mum who feels like this ….)

What am I chuntering on about? My son has met a wonderful young lady and they are about to embark on the next phase of their lives. Bless them, they came down to give me a great Mother’s Day after my long drive back from Yorkshire ( another blog in the writing)…great food, lots of drink ( oh my head!), and my son told me of their next move. I am so pleased for them!! I have only me his girlfriend twice now, but she seems kind, loving, and they seem to make eachother happy, which is what its all about, isn’t it.

I think I was good, and didn’t tell them what I thought they should do…I am sure my son would have told me if I’d been a nightmare!! However, I keep thinking “this is what I’d like to say to them from what Hubby and I did”…NO – NOT telling them what to do!!!! It IS their life, not mine, and boy, have times changed!! But not everything has, and I would like to tell them it might be a good idea to rent for a year or two to get used to living together first. After all, my son might have some dreadful habits which might drive her nuts- hIs father did!!

Are you yelling at the screen yet? I asked Hubby how he felt about it, and of course he is happy for them both “but its nothing to do with us”… GRRRRRRR!!!!!!

Am I a sad old biddy? I do have a life of my own, but he is our offspring and I am interested in his life….ok,ok, I am a nosy old biddy for sure, but I promise here that I really DON’T want to be one of THOSE mothers of sons who expects to be involved in every aspect of his life. I know they¬†will chose the best thing for them, and all I will offer is my support should it be needed, a bed and a meal whenever they want; I promise not to assume they will spend any public holiday with us ( as my mother did), unless they suggest it ( although some planning of food etc will be needed…no, no I will resist!),

In fact all I can promise is that I will do my best to be interested and not interfere. I will look forward to hearing what they are up to, but unless its been a month since I heard from them I won’t call to see if they are still alive…I am sure Hubby and friends will keep me to this! However I also promise I will never stop caring for them, and I do mean them not just him. I know he has grown up to be a good, kind, thoughtful chap (he had a good model), and I am sure she is wonderful, otherwise they wouldn’t be together.

Right, that’s me done…I am sure you want to yell at me that “it is none of your business!!!”…

L

Work in Progress

I am sitting in a new venue to write this – my husband’s desk in our study….sounds very posh and business-like doesn’t it, but as the desk is covered in my husband’s stuff there isn’t much room. It is all golf related with a no-longer-used cigar humidor in one corner, books, envelopes, golf rules files…It is my husband in a nutshell. I could move it all off so I can work in an uncluttered environment, looking out onto our garden (split lawns, one nick-named the Gin and Tonic lawn!) but I am reluctant to. Hubby is not here, and probably wouldn’t mind, if I put it all back where its supposed to be, but I am reluctant. It is his space.

Why aren’t I using my desk?? Its far too cluttered, is a drop-down desk, and if I open it I will have to acknowledge there is stuff in there decades old that I no longer need or use…that’s after I’ve picked up most of it that has tumbled out all over the place as it is so full. Do you shove things into draws to tidy up? Besides, it faces a dark wall, and there is an armchair in front of it….

So I have the perfect excuse to invade my husband’s space…and he is in London anyway until Friday as per usual.

I am trying to start a new discapline of sitting down to write something at least once a week. Stop groaning, I know I’ve said all this before! I need to change my mindset, get myself going, set new goals…yeah, yeah, heard it all before, I’ve said it all before – etc, etc! but that doesn’t make it any the less valuable for all that. Humans are always Work In Progress, as a species and as individuals. It is when this process stops that civilisations crumble, stagnate, decay. That is what I feel is happening with this individual, and so I look to the outside World for new influences.

At the moment that is scary, with all the tradegy that is out there. However, as always, thankfully, there are positives going on; humanity helps eachother in times of need, stress, horror, as it should. Let us hope that this continues!! For me it means making sure the world around me is a kinder place, showing those I know that I value them as friends, family, neighbours, even strangers. That also includes myself. It is tricky for those in power to know where to start to make things better when there are so many things needing improvement. For me it is much more simple…I need to move more, get out more, stop stagnating; the need to face the world even tho I am larger than I have ever been, to move more (even though on TV over the weekend I saw I am walking like Winnie-Ther-Pooh with stubby legs), and to concentrate on what can go right instead of what might go wrong.

So as our government here in the UK tries to work out how it can improve the lot of its populace, so I am going to work out how to improve my overall health, starting with a game of golf this afternoon…

Now, please don’t think I have been flippant comparing my obesity to the awful things that have happened in the last few weeks. I have typed my thoughts as they have flowed, realising that I have very few readers, but wanting to share what is going on with me. You can unfollow me if you feel strongly enough about it – I will be sorry, but as I don’t know you personally I am not going to have a huge outpouring of grief on social media. Just because someone does not pour their hearts out on Twitter or Facebook does not mean they are not feeling sadness or horror over things occuring in the outside world. I think perhaps common sense and a real perspective are being squeezed out by the desire to look more upset than anyone else. There, probably that is another unpopular view I have revealed.

Before I loose every single  reader I am going to sign off, get off my backside, and go do something else. Have a wonderful day whatever you are doing.

Lx