New Life Now

Good morning from a very warm and cosy kitchen, Gingerbread coffee being sipped as I type, and have finished a large pile of ironing. I have been chatting with my therapist, otherwise known as my decorator, who is nagging me to blog about our new life, so here we go.

Have I mentioned that Hubby has retired? YES! So in the space of a few months I have gone from a Weekend Wife to Full Time Wife. At first, whilst I was more incapacitated, it was brilliant – He is a good cook, and makes a great pot of tea, and very good at making me do my exercises. Now? Oh he is still a great cook and tea-maker, but I am mobile now so he has backed off his administrations.

To give Hubby his due he has been writing a report which has meant he has been very busy in the study, so I have concentrated on exercising down the other end of the house ( yes, we are very lucky to have that big a house…think of the bills etc before you start wishing or feeling envious!)

What I really wanted to share is that having another person in the house is great; having the person you have loved, and been loved by, for 34 years, is a real gift. It is different in many ways, and brings into relief how lonely I had become over the past 8 years since my mother’s death. Now there is someone to chat to first thing, to be quiet with, to laugh over the things we do differently from each other now. We are very lucky.

HOWEVER, with all this companionship comes the change to a routine I have had for over 12 years. Both of us are changing our routine, I know, I know, but from my point of view it’s me who is compromising more. (Should I have given you the “Moan Warning”?) To Hubby every day is Saturday ( thank God it’s not!) but to me its a normal week day, but with added distractions.

Before my knee op and The Change I could get to the pool almost every day just before 7am to get in at the right time; now we get there about 7.30, 3 days a week, which changes the routine in the pool as it is busier by then. Breakfast doesn’t end until about 9.30 – however I am getting great coffee with it as He is a brilliant barista! Also there is someone to rant to over the morning paper and The State Of The Country.

Driving…IT’S MY CAR!!!! Now that I am mobile and able to drive I am going to have to assert my ownership of the radio as well as the wheel!! There is an automatic movement from Himself to the driving seat, and whatever my male readers may say I am a good driver! Love him to pieces, but IT”S MY CAR…he has his own!!!!!!!!!! And breathe….

Putting the breakfast bowl above the dishwasher and expecting it to get it washed! See Michael Macintyre the comic doing a fab impression of his wife re this!! OMG!!!! And as for waiting until he comes down before we have breakfast together…what takes him so long?? He’s not putting makeup on!

When I’m doing the ironing ( which I quite enjoy, whilst watching NCIS on DVD of course) I am not going to drop everything to go for a walk because he feels ready now. When I finish the ironing I will be very happy to go for a walk, but by then He has probably started doing something which will have to be finished before we can do anything else. (I know, it’s the same thing)

When we saw each other just at weekends I automatically changed my routine for him, making sure anything not involving him was done whilst he was away, which gave me a certain mindset. Now that we are together I need to change that mindset so that I feel it’s ok to go off and do what I want to do without feeling guilty at leaving him behind. I’m sure this will happen over time, but I may need some outside help with this. He is delighted that I do go and do things that I love, see my friends etc. It doesn’t bother him at all (yet) which is lovely. He is encouraging me to plan trips away on photo shoots etc – this way he can go off on golf trips without feeling guilty, which is fine. It’s all give and take, in’t it.

Ok, Moan over, because as I type all the irritation leaves me ( for the moment), and I am smiling at the thought that, despite these minor moans, we hopefully have many years ahead to get the routines sorted, to enjoy the little things as well as the big ones. Here’s to The New Life.