As those of you who read my blog know, or even know me, we are a bereaved family. Almost 13 years ago we lost our daughter, Ally, to liver cancer, leaving us a threesome who carry on in our own best ways without her. Up to now I think we have done a jolly good job. There have been milestones for all of us – our son becoming older than his sister ( and surviving), every christmas and birthday, losing my mother and father-in-law ( I lost my father many years ago).
A couple of weeks ago I had to have our last cat put down…this was the last pat link with Ally. Then one of her best friends became engaged…a fabulous thing, and I know Ally is so pleased for her, as we all are!
All of a sudden I am not doing such a great job of coping. These were 2 milestones-too-far! I have been crying at the drop of a lemon slice in the gin, at the first cuddle of the weekend from Hubby when he comes home from London, at the sight of a text from our Son…I haven’t wanted to get up, or do anything if I’m honest! The weight has piled on and I have no energy to get it off.
So, I have found a counsellor and am getting back to where I want to be…or rather moving forward to the next stage. This wonderful person is helping me to get out a great deal of pain, anger and feelings towards my mother etc etc (you can fill in your own thoughts on what needs talking about).
I am not embarrassed about admitting I am getting help, indeed why should I be? I think we sometimes are too quiet about this sort of thing. Remember those days when we smiled at the thought that every New Yorker had their “shrink”? How sensible were they! My counselor is helping me to see things from a different view that I have lost the ability to find.
Am I taking pills? Not on your life! I have enough of a fat fight on a good day, so am not going to mess up my system any further with anti-depressants etc. I am going instead to use essential oils to help me release and relax…good old Amazon is providing me with an ultrasonic diffuser, and I have found some lovely oils at the Wealden Times Summer Fair today. We will have a sweet-smelling happy home in no time I hope!
I’ll keep you posted as to how its going, and if there are any insights into Life, The Universe, and Everything Else…why didn’t God give us a user manual???
In the meantime remember what wonderful people you are!